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Writer's pictureHeike Bitterle

Why the search for your purpose might not be helpful

Somehow, there was always this intrinsic motivation inside of me to add something to the world, to serve others, to be of value to the world. Looking back, I was always involved in social activities on the side. It was always like this inner nudging that there is more to life.


In high school, I became a class and later school representative, as it just felt so natural to get involved in activities that go beyond the normal class curriculum and that deal with somehow changing and improving life at school. At uni, I continued in a similar way with representative roles in social clubs. And in my first jobs, I got involved in a sustainability workforce and later started a mental health awareness club.





This inner nudging made me, though, also quite restless. I was searching and looking for something that fulfills me, as clearly the day-to-day work did not do it. This turned into a search for meaning, for my unique purpose that I had to find in order to be something or someone, to be of value to the wider world.


I notice this search in so many young people nowadays. It seems many of us are unhappy, unsatisfied, and frustrated with the status quo, no longer willing to just keep our heads down and follow a traditional career path - and at the same time so desperately looking for something that truly fulfills them.


However, this search for purpose comes with so much baggage. As if we were not good enough yet without having found this one, unique, big purpose. As if we were doing something wrong if we don't find it.


And it builds so much pressure. Finding this one mysterious, big ultimate thing that one will then follow for the rest of their lives. Uff... sounds heavy, no?





Last year, I found home in the teachings of indigenous cultures. They, as well as yogic philosophy, tell us that the purpose of life is to live life. Alan Watts put it very clearly: 'The meaning of life is just to be alive. It is so plain and so obvious and so simple. And yet, everybody rushes around in a great panic as if it were necessary to achieve something beyond themselves.'


Through my introspective journeys, I understood that it is about embodying myself, my most inner self. Purpose is not about doing, yet being. The universe, source, love, God - whatever you want to name it - is expressing itself through you in a unique way. And so, on this journey, instead of finding out what it is that we shall do on the outside, we get to re-learn what it means to be ourselves and remember who we were before we started following goals, values, and life plans from the outside.


It is about letting go of all the rigidity that comes with the pressure of having to know exactly what your role or path will look like before you start it. And yes, this can feel super scary as it is so different from all that we have learned so far. It is opposing the 'here is my 10-year plan' concept that we sometimes get told we need to have. And yet, it is the most important and most exciting journey we will ever embark on.


Getting to know ourselves, letting go of what is not ours, and embodying our unique way of being, even if that might mean changing some habits, potentially no longer fulfilling expectations that we ourselves or others had for us, and redirecting our focus to what does good to our hearts and souls.





Also, it is a privilege that we get to do this. It does not make us by any means better than anyone else, yet by stepping into our unique way of being (not doing), we can function as wayshowers for others, showing them that there are other ways to live this life than the heavy hustling and bustling.


Now, a first step to reconnect with yourself is through your emotions and your values. For that, we need to relearn to feel and interpret our emotions and understand our underlying needs and values.


Your emotions are indicators of your personal needs, so anger or frustration might show you where your needs or boundaries were not respected, either by you or someone else. No emotion is good or bad; they are just messengers for what is happening inside of you and in your subconscious mind. The more you start paying attention without judging your emotions, the more you will be able to draw the lines when they occur and what might have caused them. If you have a hard time feeling your feelings, the best entry point is the physical sensations that come with them. Feeling the tingling, the warmth or cold, the pressure or tightness - pay attention to them, watch them, observe them as closely as you can.





Your values are another anchor point for the start of your journey toward yourself. Identifying what your heart truly stands for will be essential on your path.

If you feel like having support from someone on this journey, I'd be excited to be your guide who walks next to you while you dive deep.

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